It’s time for that fun-derful little thing called Friday Flash Fiction! The picture this week supplied by Madison Woods and the task, to ‘tell a story’ in about 100 words.
http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/moon-and-sky/ is the link to find your way to other stories. It’s an interesting trip. Each author comes up with ideas of their own. Readers are encouraged to make comments.
I started out with 250+ words, and it was a challenge to get it down to the 104 words here.
On Buffalo River
Tom cut 
the blocks of sod, setting each aside.
He dug with haste in the small burial ground.
He looked around. His mother, a brother and others lay within the log fenced space.
At home, in the cabin, slept his family.
The full moon rose; shadows stretched. Tom bent to the work, shaping the deepening hole at his feet.
It was done!
From a hiding place, he picked up the box, heaving the weight to his shoulder.
Now he returned to his secret nighttime task.
The gold was safe, well hidden from the law that would turn it to paper. Resting between his daughter.
The longer story can be found here: http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/its-here-the-weekend-is-nigh-fridayfictioneers-on-buffalo-river/
Feel free to comment on either or both.
Good job, it’s almost a complete story. Except for wondering where the gold came from and how his daughters died.
you could find that in the longer piece. So hard to cut it down!
I think it might have some promise as a short story. I t keeps rolling around in my head.
couldnt help wondering, he didn’t kill his daughters though did he? here’s mine: http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/friday-fictioneers-then-we-were-one/
Enjoyable little read. I think I’d do the same if I came upon a box of gold, though I don’t have daughters to bury it between.
Mine is at: http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/death-cart/
that’s one way to hide the gold! I think we can use our imagination on where the gold came from…:) I like the creepy effect of the graveyard under the moon too. Nice job.
thank you! The ‘whole story’ is in the works.
Nicely done–Like April, I’d love to know more of the backstory. That’s good–it means I’m hooked and that’s what a writer is supposed to do.
Very descriptive for so few words and great use of the prompt.
yes, there is more to the story. I really had to cut a lot of what I had originally to get even close to 100 words.
I was certainly hooked, but there was much I didn’t understand. Why would the law turn the gold to paper?
Nicely done, and certainly left me wanting more.
Mine’s at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/you-called-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/
“a law that would turn the gold to paper”. information can be found here http://economics.about.com/cs/money/a/gold_standard.htm A true gold standard came to fruition in 1900 with the passage of the Gold Standard Act. The gold standard effectively came to an end in 1933 when President Franklin D. Roosevelt outlawed private gold ownership (except for the purposes of jewelery).
Sorry to butt in here, Sandra, but the ‘law’ turns gold to paper at the behest of bankers in control of governments. They do it so that they can then control the countries by printing money backed by nothing. The resulting debasement of currencies amounts to taxation without legislation and is the scourge of the common man. I’d hide my gold too, if I only had some. This was a good story, eh?
Aloha,
Doug
Wonder how much gold he had in that box that he had to heave the weight over his shoulder? Were they gold coins, gold nuggets, gold artifacts? Were they stolen? So many questions. Would love to see this expanded. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
Did he steal the gold? Was it an inheritance he didn’t want to pay tax on? Why did the whole family die – so many questions make me want to read a complete story. Nice
Here’s mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers-painting-creation/
The seed was planted and there is a lot more to the story. It might show up soon.
Like everyone else I also want to know where he got the gold from. What I also want to know is what happened to his daughters. What timeframe are we talking about? Great story, I can tell that you had trouble cutting this down. I can see pieces of a very rich story here. Mine is over here at: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/05/friday-flash-fiction-birthing.html
since you asked, the story takes place in the 1930′s
http://economics.about.com/cs/money/a/gold_standard.htm is s link to the ‘inspiration’.
I think I can safely say, there will be more of this to read.
Intriguing and well thought out. I’m sure the back story of where the gold came from is already i your head.
Here’s mine. Sleepwalk. http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com
Great story. You have touched on a thread really resonates with me and I applaud you for it. Very well written story about the lengths to which men are forced to go to protect their assetts from rapacious governments.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/last-of-the-first/
Thank you! Although the setting here is the ’30′s, I feel that it could easily happen again, to ‘us’. It’s a very real danger.
Great job, “Oldentimes!” Wondrous intrigue fitting a great photo. Love it.
thank you. the full story is posted as well.You can find it here: http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/on-buffalo-river/
I wanted to know what happened to his daughters. I like the challenge of short pieces, but it leaves so many questions. I do like what you ended up with.
My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/she-called-to-him/
there is more and it is here: http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/on-buffalo-river/
It’s really hard to tell it all in 100 words!
100 words is HARD! http://craftytara.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/thank-goodness-for-moonlight/
it is!
I read both. And found both very effective on different levels. There is a lot of mystery to the drabble which is tantalizing and creepy in a way that leaves a lot to the imagination.
The flash fiction piece fleshes it out more and answers concretely a lot of the questions from the drabble, yet is still chilling. I enjoyed them both.
My link is: http://quillshiv.com/2012/05/11/the-first-world/
thank you Quill Shiv! I appreciate you taking the t9ime to read and make a comment!
A great read, leaving lots of questions. And I love the stretching shadows!
Thanks for your lovely comment on ours at http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/moon-and-sky
this link enlarges on the 100 words. http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/on-buffalo-river/
Love this one…
I enjoyed the story and would like to know more if possible. The curious thing is the fact of his family all dead. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/fridayfictioneers-tanoas-baby/
Oh, I want to know more! Well written with lots of intriguing images and questions coming to mind. Nancy
You story has the same spooky quality as the photo!
My story is here: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
Good job! Great historical references. I think you should make this into a short story. Here’s mine
http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/friday-flash-fiction-2/
Thank you for your kind comments on my post. I truly enjoyed yours! I agree – you should definitely turn this into a short story. Much there to be explored! For your visitors, here’s my post: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers/
Great story, digging up a grave under the moon, hiding gold from the government. Lots of intriging stuff to peak my curiosity. Well done.
thanks for visiting mine. Here’s the link for others http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
glad you liked it. thanks for sharing your link for others as well
Gold to paper. You know, that bothered me once. I remember being in high school, and suddenly realizing the twenties in my wallet (the ones soon to be burned on a date) were truly and utterly worthless. Just paper. I certainly couldn’t eat them-maybe I could start a fire with it? Perhaps with a few economics books as more substantial tinder?
I didn’t burn my twenties. I think I took a girl on a date. Anyway, I appreciate how your story makes us think a bit.
Here’s mine:
http://glossarch.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/persistence-friday-fictioneers/
I liked this. spooky, mysterious, and a different ending. good job
Thank you. I appreciate your comments
Slow careful work at night. A well-paced, rounded piece. Great writing!
Brian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/05/11/the-runaway/)
thank you. I ‘saw’ this story from listening to some of the elder neighbors talk long ago.
Hi there! this is an interesting story and I think you convey the desperation to hide the gold well. I got the gold-to-paper reference enough that it didn’t disturb the story.
If I may concrit – I think in the cutting you probably lost a little flow in the piece. The first few sentences are choppy and the story starts slowly and jerkily as a result. It also leaves me doing some mental maths about which family members are still alive, because you list a lot of them as dead. Personally, I’d suggest compacting some of the first half – Just show us Tom digging in the family burial ground in one sentence, then say “His wife and surviving children were at home asleep” or whatever. That way the daugthers at the end (I assume daughter is a typo) fit in and hit us with a final sadness over his position.
Just a suggestion though!
Mine’s here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/friday-fiction-halloween/
thank you, I appreciate the critique. THis gives me some points to work on
good take on the pic. it feels complete.
I am assuming the gold is the money of the day, his life’s savings, and he wants to protect it from being seized and converted to paper money by the government. That’s a great foundation for the much larger story I’ll bet you write.