The season has arrived, trees are shining, packages gleam.  Music rushes in stores and other places, singing ‘Joy to the world’ and ‘Have a holly jolly Christmas’. It is not working for us this year.

Christmas this year on Sunrise Ridge feels pretty bleak.  Grandson, Hubby and I have put up trees, hung decorations and that is as far as we have made it. Oh, ther are couple of gifts in the closet, waiting and we will open them, I’m sure.

The multitudes of cookies and candy that usually fills my kitchen is not to be seen. We made cookies for grandson’s work dinner and ended up tossing the extra ones to the chickens. None of us wanted them.

We discussed the traditional gathering, a family meal of soup and homemade bread on Christmas Eve and found all enthusiasm wanting. I think we will pass on that this year.

Invited to go caroling with the church womans group, I declined, fearing that tears would overpower me. Feelings are still too raw, too near the surface is the sadness and emptiness.

I asked about Christmas dinner, Hubby suggested I call around and find a restaurant that is open, not a likely thing in our rural area. I’m not sue what we will do.

I know we will be thankful, appreciate the family that gathers, celebrate the ‘reason’ for the season and hug each other a little longer, a little closer this year.Recovering is going on, slowly, and not without struggle. Maybe next year…