Archive for April, 2020

A time to mourn

Over the past few days, our family has been quietly waiting for information about a niece who was hospitalized with COVID 19.

Each day the news was less hopeful. Yes, there were other underlying health issues.

Family and friends unable to visit or be together.

Yesterday, at 6:30 PM, the phone rang, her sister calling to let us know ‘she’s gone’.

But we cannot gather to share memories, hugs and fellowship, due to the same disease that took here life.

It’s hard!

It’s how we roll, social distancing

Yes, we are all getting pretty tired of this social distancing arent we?

My kids,spread over the USof A had an idea. What game do we all have? The answer – Yahtzee! So last night via Zoom there was a big game of Yahtzee, rooms were fill with laughter, cheers and groans as the dice rolled and participants scored.

Not much, but we got to see one another and share more than just the game.

For an hour or so, we had FAMILY and FRIENDS together.

Little things

I remember once, trying to learn something for school. I must have been about 10 ears old. I was having an awful time, my Uncle Bill, Aunt Ruth and cousin Nancy were at our house.

I’m guessing it was dish washing time, that was the time for most of the memorizing of spelling, math facts and recitations. Mom or Dad would sit at the kitchen table and make sure we got our lesson right.

Maybe Uncle Bill was there in the kitchen. That I do not remember, but the facts of the evening I do.

Over and over, and over again. Never right! I got so frustrated I charged out of the kitchen slamming the door as I fled.

Uncle Bill caught me on the first landing going up the stairs. My ten year old self just wanted to escape!

He set down with me on the step, patted my back and gently calmed me down and said,”Always remember this. The last 4 letters in American are I can. You are an American, so whatever it is, you can.”

What ever I was supposed to learn at the time has been long forgotten. His words were not! Thanks Uncle Bill, I still appreciate those words!

And that is OK.

Earlier today I posted on Facebook, something about if you needed to be alone right now with all the self-quarantine, you could go wash dishes or clean the kitchen, I didn’t mention cleaning the bathroom, but no one ever bothers me then either,

The post, meant to be humorous, was met with this comment: “Cleaning is a never ending job. So right now no excuse from not having a clean house. And kids should be being taught how to clean their rooms and make their beds and chores daily. What a great time for learning things they have never had to learn”

And maybe I’m too sensitive, but it really hit me in the feels as my grandkids say.

Unless you have walked a mile or so in someone else’s shoes, don’t be telling them ‘they have no excuse’ for whatever.
If a person is not doing things’your way’ it does not mean they are not doing the best they can within their means and abilities.

Two of the people on my FB friends list have large families, with toddlers, in the midst of raising the little ones home schooling the older ones and working at essential positions in industry, food service and health care, they are stretched pretty far right now.

I am imuno compromised, my husband is immuno-compromised, deaf and has dementia, my house may not be as clean as yours because I cannot do it. But we are all healthy, within our parameters. I’ll accept that as OK.

I can’t get a hair cut, unless I do it myself. I might be shaggy, but It will be OK.

We don’t go to the doctor, they now call us. We are not sick, and that’s OK
It’s hard to shop, one in, one out, and things missing from shelves, call in an order and pick it up. I’m saving money, and that’s OK.

I’m staying home, I miss friends and family, but I have internet, so even that is OK.

I have all the things I need, and a lovely porch to sit on and contemplate how blessed I am, so that’s the way it is. Just like most of the people I know we are doing our best to be our best.

I think I can make it. A positive attitude is going to get us a lot farther right now than dwelling on the black abyss we have before us

Some days you just cry

Folks, there are days! Dealing with dementia, just drains a person.

Today, when Hubby could not put on socks, nor remember what we have had to eat or planned to eat.

It’s been a battle recently to get him to take care of daily hygiene issues, reminders to bathe fall on deaf ears. I finally had to get salty and say “You stink!”

Today, I’m tired, both physically and mentally. I need a day off. The best I can do, is go hide in the bak room and hope I can crochet or read for a while before he calls me for help with something.

He talks about things, a garden, a trip, visiting people. Things we cannot do right now. And I smile and say, ‘yes, but not today.’

On the one hand, I appreciiate that he is with me here, that I can help him still; and on the other hand, I shed tears of frustration and anger because I am losing this man.

I just needed to say this today.