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Some days you just cry


Folks, there are days! Dealing with dementia, just drains a person.

Today, when Hubby could not put on socks, nor remember what we have had to eat or planned to eat.

It’s been a battle recently to get him to take care of daily hygiene issues, reminders to bathe fall on deaf ears. I finally had to get salty and say “You stink!”

Today, I’m tired, both physically and mentally. I need a day off. The best I can do, is go hide in the bak room and hope I can crochet or read for a while before he calls me for help with something.

He talks about things, a garden, a trip, visiting people. Things we cannot do right now. And I smile and say, ‘yes, but not today.’

On the one hand, I appreciiate that he is with me here, that I can help him still; and on the other hand, I shed tears of frustration and anger because I am losing this man.

I just needed to say this today.

Why bother?


I got up this morning, which is a good thing. The day may come when I can’t, but that is not today’s issue.

I had my coffee, read my Bible and started all as usual. Hubby got up, and I went to the bedroom to do the things I do every day.

When I walked in there and looked at the unmade bed, I thought for a moment, Does it matter? I mean, really, does it? Of course not! If I make up the bed, or not, the world will not change drasticly. There will be no one but us to see.

I made the bed anyway. if for no other reason than habit. And I felt a bit better. I’ve done something. Here’s a spot of something I control, something I have power over today!

Then, getting dressed, once again, why bother? What does it do? Who will see? No one is going to ‘see’ other than the others self-isolating in this house.

But I got dressed, why? for the same reason I made the bed.

We have so little right now we can control. It’s the little things, the routines that we can control, that are going to help us keep our world in place.

I looked at the plants on the table by the bed, the aloe, Christmas Cactus, Poinsettia and others, a glance at the seedlings, tomato and pepper in the living room window. Are they concerned about the possibility of covid-19. No! They will grow, despite the disease, as long as they are watered and nurtured.

I’m going to continue doing what I do, that’s water. I will try to be up-beat and encouraging. That’s nurture, for myself and hopefully for others.

And that, really, is why I bother.

Oh, really?


Yes, doing all those things on the list and making every effort to stay as healthy as my immune compromissed body can.

We’ve been self-isolated for over two weeks. Thankful for those kind folks who have deliviered things to my porch. Thankful for the warmer weather, to get outside for some excercise and enjoyment. Thankful for the rebirth of Spring and hope.

Today, I awoke with chills, low grade fever, body aches, and a bad attitude. I took myself back to bed with a dose of Tylenol. With all the outdoor work and trying to keep up inside as well, I may have overdone a bit,

While I really doubt it is COVID-19, Hubby is convinced it might be, I have been warned that unless I am my usual self tomorrow, there will be intervention. No respiratory problems and no more ‘tiredness’ than any other day.

Things are what they are, and what is going to happen will. I’m not afraid, no matter what.

This is how it worked (Great memories)


Great-grand Sarah, has been in the kitchen with me from an early age. Now seven, she has mastered many basics.

Recently, her father proposed to a lovely young woman, Karlie. They were here one evening for dinner and no desert had been prepared.

Hints were rampant from the males in the place that a pie would be nice. Karlie, it a good cook, I don’t want anyone to think otherwise, but she had never made a pie.

I mention we have refrigerator crust..

Sarah goes to the kitchen “Karlie, we are going to make a pie.”

“Now, we need 6 apples.”, Sarah counts them out, sitting them on the table.

Karlie washes at the sink, then washes apples and follows instructions for getting the peeler and apple corer.

Sarah gets the big bowl out and carefully talks Karlie through Sugar, spices, and proper combining. “You can’t mix it hard, it breaks the apples.

The oven, of course is taken care of by Karlie, Sarah can’t reach the control, but she can get out the pie pan and take care of the bottom crust.

Soon the filling is added, supervised by Sarah in her bright orange apron. Now the top crust and instructions for crimping. The vents looked like hearts.

And again, the seven year old chef tells us, “you gotta put some egg and sugar on top”. I explain egg wash and tell her where to find the pastry brush.

“Karlie, you have to put it in the oven, it’s too hot for me to touch. In about an hour, there was apple pie.

There were proud bakers and very happy eaters.

Day 10


Has it been that long? Yes, since hubby decided we needed to stay haome and avoid the virus.

I’ll admit it is not the mowst fun thing I’ve ever done. I’m not a social butterfly, but I did enjoy running in to a neighbor, friend or family member from time to time.

Our grandson was married today, thanks to streaming video we were able to see him and his lovely bride take their vows and cut the cake.

A young neighbor messaged this morning, she was going to have to make a trip and wanted to know if I needed anything. Normall, I would have siad no, we are ok, but I realized while there was nothing we ‘had to have’, a loaf of bread would make my life easier and a tomato would be fine in a salad or on a sandwich in the next few days.

So I said, I could use these things, if they can be found. We need to feel like we are helping each other. For my part, due to the bread shortage two pans of yeast rolls came out of the oven this afternoon.

When our nighbor arrived on the porch, the required 6 feet away, I put a pan of fresh yeast rolls on the porch rail in trade.

Win, win I think.

It’s good to see community coming together.

When 'It's just not right'


 I just want to make folks aware of this . It was a frightening scam.
This morning I got an alarming and scary message from a friend in another state.
“I have taken some pills and still in a lot of pain. Trying to call my doc.”
Now, I do not know this person well, but with everything going on, I was quite concerned. I was prepared to try to get hold of Emergency services in her town.
It turns out, after I finally reached her, she has been hacked and all th safeety measures are being taken.
However, I can see that this could be a horrible situation.
Calling emergency responders to a place they are not needed, which if She had not responded might have happened.
When contacted, she said antoher friend had gotten the same type message.
Let’s face it. this is not a joke and this is not a joke in any case.
Check on your friends and family. if things don’t seem right, check again.

It affects us all


My dear husband is suffering from dementia. With it, besides the forgetting, confusion and frustration, is obsession with ideas.

Recently, there has been a camper and the remote at this point idea of a long cross country trip. With everything going on, that is not likely to happen at this time, but it does not matter to him.

We are going. That’s his plan! That’s what he expects to happen. It’s getting harder to distract him from his fixations.

He’s also focused on Coronavirus and convinced that it is going to kill us both. We are locked down! How will we go on a trip? Who knows. I certainly have no idea.

The newscasts he spends hours watching predict gloom and doom, he thinks by getting away we will protect ourselves.

I’m just tired, and lonely and it’s making me depressed. Depression is my enemy too. So I am fighting battles on several fronts.

Buck up, go on, be as positive as possible. As Gram used to say, “this too, shall pass”.

It’s important to breathe…


I want to encourage everyone to get some fresh air and exercise.


You don’t have to run a 5 k or anything like that. Fresh air, sunshine (if available) and a change of scenery can do wonders for your body and spirit. Here we had clouds and a brisk breeze, so there was a reason for a light jacket.


My walk today was out across the yard to the mail box, not much but I dawdled on the way to enjoy the blossoms and greening grass.

Birds are dancing around the feeders and the bird boxes are being checked by interested couples ready to start families.

I sat for a bit on the porch to peruse a seed catalog. Old Glry was streamng straight in the breeze and the wind chimes plinked a relaxing tune.

Yes, it did the heart and mind a lot of good.

Are we going crazy?


I have concluded, I will take reasonable precautions, I have a compromised immune system. I might wash my hands more, and use more care about some things.


That being said, I am not going to go totally bonkers over coronavirus.

I do understand social distancing, I understand being prepared. I don’t understand hoarding toilet paper or bottled water. Why? Medical reports that this outbreak is basically a flu-like illness.

How many cases make a ‘state of emergency’? I’ve even heard Martial Law being bandied about. I listened as mayors asked restaurant owners to only allow half the number of patrons, conventions, sporting activities, even schools and work hours being curtailed or closed.

What about police, fire, military, or medical personnel? They are expected to be there if we need them, right? And for the most part we all hope not to need them in this situation.

I admit, I am very confused. I have food, and hygeine products and our medications to last a couple of weeks, I think I will just hide here on Sunriise Ridge and limit my communication to the internet.

National day of total confusion


Yes, it’s that time of year, the government in it’s wisdom(?) has decreed we “add an hour of daylight”.

I’ve always had trouble with this concept, there are still only 24 hours, my body clock, still wakes me at ‘bathroom o’clock’, whether it is 4 or 5 on the lighted digits of the bedroom clock.

Yesterday, I rejoiced in the rising light at 6:30, this morning, at 7, I can barely make out the branches outside the window.

This 70+ year old mind seems to have more trouble wrapping itself around this event every year.

The clocks are changed, but my mind is not.