Tag Archive: depression



This is a reminder to myself. Recently I found I have a couple of serious, long term medical conditions. I will be dealing with them the rest of my life. Adjusting my thoughts and attitude is a big part of how that ‘rest of my life’ is going to be. I want to use this little vignette as my future example.

There are two sisters in our community, a bit older than I am and they both have many health issues right now. Both have husbands and families, relatively nice homes and a lot of support. So do I.

Sister One faces her ills head on, fighting all the way, getting out to walk, spending time with people. She will greet you with a smile most days, and rarely ever mentions how she feels or what is going on physically. She nearly always asks what is going on and is enthusiastic or sympathetic or what ever fits the situation. She carries with her an aura of peace, calm and hope.

Sister Two, however, walls herself away, staying home, often not getting up from her recliner except to use the bathroom and eat. On the days she is willing to accept visitors, her only topic of conversation is her last appointment, current treatments and how she feels. And sadly, she does not want to know about anything outside her sphere of misery. This sister radiates fear, sorrow and despair.

I know illness and events can bring a person down. and I know depression is a cruel monster. Seeing these two women, so alike in many ways and yet, facing the same battle so differently, brings this home again.

Let me always remember these ladies, and try to model my actions after Sister One.

Standing on the edge of the ‘black hole’


‘Black holes’ do not exist only in the cosmos. They can exist inside you, sucking away your hope, light and energy.
It is called DEPRESSION and it is very real.

I know, I fight this battle. I’m far from alone, although when DEPRESSION rears it’s ugly head, I feel that way. Then, no one is there, no one can fathom the awfulness, the aloneness, the fears.

In my effort to continue to exist, I try to look for the good in things, find beauty in what is around me. On really bad days, even this is a hard task.

On those days, when I want to crawl back into bed and ide under the covers, I must remind myself that I am not invisible.

What I do does matter, and who I am matters more.  The emptiness is inside me, attacking, pulling me in.

The battle rages, reality and all that is good, or this lie of despair and defeat.