Tag Archive: musings

so, I am walking

This is the day for The Alzheimer’s Walk. It’s a small thing I can do. This year it’s a virtual walk and can be done anywhere. Mine is here along our road on Sunrise Ridge.

I joined my daughter’s team, along with a few others. We are walking for my husband, and anyone who has been diagnosed with dementia. In case you do not know, it’s a hard thing to live with, for him and for me as caregiver.

So, I am walking.

Earlier this past week, I was really ill with food poisoning and dehydration. Go to the doctor ill, in fact. Hubby’s needs, however, are becoming greater. He sits in front of his TV, still in Pajamas, dozing in and out. Refusing his supplemental oxygen. This is today, and yesterday, maybe tomorrow it will be the same. Or perhaps something new will happen.

One thing I know, it is not getting better, nor will it.

So, I am walking.

I put on my whte hat, weren’t all the cowboy heros wearing white hats, back in the day? Donned my favorite tie dye shirt, a symbol for love and peace. Picked up my rose printed cane, so I could go the distance. My favorite walking shoes, sturdy and comfortable go on my feet.

I can do this!

So, I am walking

One little thing, out team has met it’s pledge goal, and I walk, down our ramp and onto the road. My goal is simple, slow and easy. Take some time to enjoy the outdoors. Just breathe, someone is giving me a break and accept the peace.

So, I am walking.

Along the way, I see the signs of Autumn, the last summer flowers, turning leaves. The shutting down of a season of growth and color.

The end of what was.

So, I am walking

Another Wooden Spoon passes on

Yesterday, was once again, birthday celebration day for a great grand.

Grandson, his fiancee, Karlie, two great-grands, Parker and Sarah, and Karlie’s 9 year old brother, Draven, arrived early, laden with baking supplies and entusiasm.

As the greats, went through the litany of “wash your hands and get your aprons on”, adults made sure the necessary supplies were in place.

The bowl for the big stand mixer is set on the table, box of eggs, the cooking oil, and necessary measuring cups. Then I get to sit down, with my kitchen queen crown on and obsere, with few reminders. Seven, eight and our novice nine year old, measured, premixed and prepared the first cake batter.

Karlie, put it on the mixer for the final beating. While this was happening, the youngsters prepared pans, one 9X13 and both large and mini cupcakes. Each one had a pan, Parker was happy to assist his uncle Draven in learning the proper methods.

Cup cake pans are set aside for the moment as Karlie fills the big pan. Each one chooses a food color and a few drops go on the batter, given a toothpick, each swirls thier color through the cake. “Voila,” says Sarah, “it’s ready to bake!”

One cake in the oven, it’s time to do cupcakes. We use the same method, but this time the bowl comes back to the table with measuring scoops for cupcakes and some swift math. For fairness sake, each cook fills 4 large and 8 small cupcakes. then of course, the question of who gets the beaters and who gets the bowl. (So you don’t have to wonder, Sarah chose the bowl. “Ladies first”, Draven remineded)

There’s a little batter left, it goes in a 6 inch pan. Kids are herded outside in the sunshine while cakes bake and cool

Back in the house, once agian with clean hands Frosting is divided inot bowls,, kids pick colors and work those in, soon each has 3 large and 5 small cakes to decorate, oh, yes, colored sugar and sprinkles are available. THe reason they do not get them all to ice, some people here do not like frosting and some are diabetic and do not need it.

Draven cose green, “That’s my favorite color”, and Parker said it was his too. Sarah has a dark puplish black, and Parker has red.

At this point, (Breaks my heart in a way) Draven asks ” Gramma, do you think sometime we could make a cake like this for me?” It’s not that he has not had birthday cakes, not at all! this is just different.

Cupcakes are finished and plated. Karlie and Randy allow kids to frost the big cake white, then take up the decorating details.

Before long there is a PokEBall cake on the table.

There is one little lonely cake left, there is a nine year old who really wants a ‘birthday’ cake. The last of the white icing goes on, Draven’s name in the center, some red and green dots and ribbons and an incredibly big smile!

Randy puts candles on Parker and Draven’s cakes and even one in a cupcake for Sarah, We sing, they blow out the flames.

And Karlie, who is a first rate kitchen helper, gets the highly coveted wooden spoon award.

Recently, our family has expanded a bit. Single parent grandson and his children have been staying with us, while he does some serious re-hab on their house.

Having a Head Start student and a Pre-K student around is a challenge. We have had an assortment of the older ones in and out over the years, but no ‘little ones’ on a regular basis.

Of course we are handling it, pretty well. As Hubby says, “We can do this one more time.”

Last week our Pre-K boy needed something that started with the letter N for his ‘Show and Tell’. Uncle Brett and I helped and we soon had lovely noodle necklaces for him to take. 100_0533

I’m re you can see that the finished project made him happy, and he said  everyone in his class liked it too.

While we worked on them, I realized that I did these with my siblings, my own kids, grandkids, various nieces and nephews, and a host of the other children that filtered through out home over the years.

That’s a lot of pasta!

Hubby was watching the weather this morning. “It’s supposed to snow in the Rocky’s, up to two feet.”

This led my mind on a tangent, back many years. We had made a road trip with young children to California in late April. Our trip back included driving through Colorado.

We took an extra day, to visit places Hubby remembered from his childhood. A lovely day, so fine in fact, that we purchased some camping essentials to spend the night at a camping area we found.

Hubby purchased a fishing pole and license then headed to a nearby stream for some trout fishing.

The kids and I hiked around the camping area, enjoying the mountains and glimpses of animals.

About noon, the temperature began to drop, and snow began to fall. Late in the afternoon, a ranger came by, advising us to ‘leave, unless you are prepared to stay several days’.

We packed up, not being in a position to do be ‘snowbound’.

The snow followed us past Denver, piling up 6+ inches on slick winding roads, assuring us that leaving was the right decision.

Today, I think back, all because of a weather report.



There is no time like the present

On Day 7 of November, 2015, I am thankful for ‘time’.
Time spent growing up, with family and friends.
Time spent learning what I know.
Time to be a parent, grand parent and great-grand parent.
Time to work, time to play.
Time to enjoy life.
Time to rejoice, there is always something good, every single day.
Time to cry, tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.
Time to remember.

Time to hope

Time to pray

Time to forgive and accept responsibility
Time to share hope and love.
And still, I hope, time granted to me to make a difference in others lives.

there are some things you really regret.

One of those things was the Christmas I was 17. Back then, as most teens, there was an aura of complacency, and not a little feeling of superiority in my being.

An elderly aunt had hand crocheted a large doll for me, looking back and now aware of what time and effort went into that doll, I know it should have meant a lot.

However, as a soon to be adult Senior in High School, I was sorely disappointed in the gift. Not because it was hand made but because it seemed to me she was not seeing me for the grownup that I had become.

The doll was tucked away, out of sight in my parents attic for several years.

I don’t know what ever became of it, but this morning while working on some Christmas craft projects, I remembered the doll and more specifically, how I felt.

I’m really sorry I was not more appreciative at the time.

A young mother of three I know, lamented, “I wish I could snap my fingers and a genie would come clean my house.”

I knew that feeling, during the long hot summers of my own kids growing up, even as I babysat grandkids, nieces and nephews in the more recent past.

As I look back, yes, the genie would have been nice. Maybe I could have managed time better. Who knows?

I do know, moments of wonder, drawing pictures, weed bouquets in grimy hands, blowing soap bubbles in the wind, playing with them in the sprinkler, hearing them say, “Please, read/tell us a story”, and “Can we have a tea party?”, are much more precious than spotless floors, folded laundry and a clean sink will ever be.

Housework lasts a short time, so does childhood. Housework lasts forever, children grow up and move on in the blink of an eye.

I’ll take the memories, a weed bouquet and a tea party!

Some day, dear, you will wish for these things too.

It has been a long week on Sunrise Ridge. Epic cold and snow deep and fluffy has kept me inside for the most part.

Oh, there has been plenty to ‘do’, but at some point cabin fever sets in.

Then there was, picking at the back of my mind this coming Monday,  Chrysta’s birthday.  Yesterday, while prepping for more unpleasant weather, I had an idea. That idea led to posting this request on social media:

‘Throwing this out there. In November, daughter Chrysta passed away. She was a loving caring woman, filled with compassion.
Monday would be her birthday.
In her memory, I challenge all of my friends to ‘pay it forward’.
Do a random act of kindness for someone this weekend.
Feel free to share your blessings.’

Grandson Brett and I are making cookies for him to share at the Sheltered Workshop where he is employed.

Someone is donating blood, another made soup and shared with a neighbor… many great ideas.

I know Monday still looms in the future, no doubt there will be tears, but the idea that we are celebrating a life well lived doing things she would do is comforting.

Feel free to join this birthday party and share your blessings with someone and in a comment here.

I walk into the kitchen for more coffee.
Hubby greets me with “It’s 2 below right now.”
“And you think I want to know that?” is my reply.

And it doesn’t really matter, the weather is something we have and can only accept.

Outside my window, sunshine, a few clouds zip across the bright blue sky in the wind.

Cardinals fluffed out to keep warm, stick close to the feeder and preen a bit in the sun.

I think, I can choose to grumble about the cold, or enjoy what is given to me outside that window.

I am warm, cozy and being treated to a lovely view. Things to be happy about, many do not have even this simple pleasure.

The mail brings catalogs of garden seed, poultry and crafts to contemplate over the coming days. Winter will pass.

Daylight arrives a bit earlier and lingers longer, Spring will come , it always does. All is well!

Standing with my parents, siblings and other relatives on a cold windy November day.
Surrounded by white markers in the “Soldiers Circle”, my grandmother stood at the stone for my uncle. A bombardier, shot down in the European theater during World War II.
Prayers, then an official intones the names of those fallen men from foriegn battles. At many stones a family member answers “Here, Sir” as the roll call goes on.
Then later in the day, a parade, honoring the living as well as the lost.
A day of solemn tribute.
More wars have been fought since then and this day has lost much of the significance it once held.
Go out, find someone in uniform or wearing a ball cap showing they are a veteran, walk up and say “Thank you”. Without them, your life would be very different.